Mother, Father Francis always told us and he still tells us in church that people do not die. That it is the body which dies and the spirit lives. But how can this be true? Your spirit should be watching over me, Mother. Since the day I was told you went to a sleep that people never wake up from, I have seen more than enough. And I don't consider continuing living in this world. I want to come over to where you are Mother. May be the place is better than here. What Mama Jacky and her daughter are doing to me is no good at all Mother. The two have made tears draw permanent lines on my cheeks. She makes me wash their clothes, wash the house. In fact, I do everything while they sit and mock me and call me names. Every day, they ensure I cry and frown the whole day even when I try to put on a smile. Dad left for the city and rarely comes back home. And whenever he comes home, Mama Jacky treats me well. But what difference does it make? In fact, she forces me to pretend they are so good to me. If I fail to do so, immediately Dad leaves, am beaten to plump. Mother, why did you leave me behind?
Two weeks after you were laid to rest Mother, Mama Jacky called me. She wanted to send me to the market.
"Yes Mama," I responded and ran into the house.
When I got into the house, she was standing at the centre with both arms at her waist.
"What did you just say?" she asked me.
Seeing no offense, I repeated, "Yes Mama."
All I had known was that the word Mama was meant to be used on any woman old enough to be a parent. I was wrong. Mother, Mama Jacky slapped me with both hands on my cheeks. When I later checked on a mirror, an image of her palm was on my cheek. She then told me as she pushed me outside the house,
“I am not your mother. Do you know where your mother is? Your mother is over there."
And she pointed to the left of the house at your grave. Mother, on that day, after my chores, I came and sat on your grave and cried. Again, when she saw me crying, she laughed at me and said that I am crying over spilt milk.
"Will you get food from the grave? You think she will come out and protect you? Get out of there and help Jacky with her homework," she told me.
You left when Mama Jacky was not there. She had not been brought home by Father. I don’t know whether Father met her while you were still with us or not. One and a half weeks after you departed from us, Father came home with her. And with Jacky too. It was very late at night when he parked his car at the garage. I happily ran outside to welcome him as I used to do.
“Hii ni kitu gani?” she asked Father. (What is this thing?)
Since the day she came, my existence has been almost impossible in her presence. The day she came was the last day I stepped a foot at school. The only place I was allowed to go was the church and on days she says so only, which also I go to no more.
Life has been hard Mother. Recently, Mama Jacky brought a pet puppy. I am the keeper of the pet. She said she was employing me to look after it when she brought it. I have to ensure it eats regularly and is ever clean. I have to wash it the way you used to wash me.
At one time, I was going into the kitchen and coincidentally, the puppy was on its way out. It hit its head on my left leg and Mama Jacky heard it. It was around midday. Jacky was outside cycling her mountain bike. She ran to the mother and told her that I was kicking Sadam, the puppy. I was told to lie down. She was beating me everywhere; my legs, my hands, my buttocks, my head, everywhere. If it was not for the neighbors, she could have killed me. My clothes were soaked in blood. That day, I was denied lunch. On my way to the village well in the evening, Mama Sam offered me boiled sweet potatoes. I could not decline the offer as I was very hungry. I ate quickly looking this way and that way to ensure Jacky was nowhere around. Then all was known when Mama Jacky and Mama Sam, a week later quarreled. Our cows broke loose and ate Mama Sam's vegetables. Mama Sam insulted her quoting that she is the one who always give me food, although it was only once. Mother, you can imagine what happened to me that day.
Mama Jacky always tell me that my presence makes her sick. I didn't understand what she meant until today. She wanted me dead. She had sent me to go for firewood even though there was more than enough already. Because this is what she usually tell me even for water, I went. An hour later, I came back in trips with firewood; about four trips. At the last trip, she told me that my lunch was in the kitchen. I hurriedly went for it. Meat stew and chapati. I didn't believe this. I decided I would eat it in style. Just when I was about to start eating, Jacky dashed in and took everything from me.
“This is my food. Since when did you start eating meat stew here?”
Since she is far much older than I am, I could do nothing. Not even saying a word because I knew the mother was outside. Also, I thought it was all planned by the mother. I went outside. Mama Jacky was not wherever she had been a couple of minutes ago. While I looked around, I heard Jacky cough. Once, twice, thrice… and consistently. I went back to check out. The poor girl was on the floor shaking and... Oh! Mother, Jacky said goodbye. Mama Jacky came running but it was too late.
"You killed my only daughter! He killed her!" she shouted.
I tried explaining but all was in vain. The policemen came for me. I am now going to jail. And I will be charged for murder. Mother, please come back for me.
Abraham O’Obunga is a student at Moi University.
